Hello. I’m Christie, better known as @GlitterAndGrief on Instagram. I created my “grief account” back in November 2018. Why? Well, my dad had passed away in 2016 and I was at a weird point in my grief journey. Grief wasn’t talked about and I felt like my loss was all but forgotten after 2 years. It was lonely. So, I reached out to the internet and to my surprise a “grief community” existed. From 2018 to now, I’ve been sharing my grief, connecting with others, and feeling like the internet is truly helping grievers feel less alone.

My hope with #NormalizeGrief is to continue this movement to get society talking about grief and if you’ve found your way onto this page let me start by expressing my condolences. I mean it. Nobody wants to be in this club, but we are all here. And if you’re still reading this then there is a part of you that wants to share your grief, your story, and talked about your loved ones too. If your platform of choice is Instagram, let me share some of the tips I’ve learned about sharing grief and some suggestions for tools to help you create your posts.

Now, this is truly a suggestion. I found that having an account separate from my personal Instagram allowed me to talk about grief as much as I wanted. It didn’t feel weird it felt open. The people who follow me want to hear about my grief and my loved one. Grief shouldn’t be taboo to talk about, so that’s why this is merely a suggestion.

3 Reasons I’d suggest to create a grief account:

• It allows you to speak freely. It’s a dedicated space for your grief.

• It will help you connect to fellow grievers by making it easier to identify your account as grief support.

• You can remain anonymous if you’d like to as well. It can be as open or private as you’d like.

Upload a profile picture.

I’ve used a personal photo and I’ve also used a cartoon version of me and my grief monster. I think a benefit of a personal photo is people can see you’re a real person. If your page is sharing your own grief, it gives it a face. I don’t use my own photo anymore, but from time to time I’ll make a Reel or share personal photos too. You can also create a logo if you’re focus is more so to create a grief community than to share your own story.

Add to your bio.

Who are you? Who are you grieving? When did you lose them? These are just suggestions, but one thing I’ve realized is all grief is different. It’s a place where you can explain your perspective, where is your grief coming from. I’ve changed my bio recently but for a long time it read, “🏻 Lost my dad to sepsis when I was 23.” You’d be surprised how many direct messages (DMs) I received in relation to this one message. Sepsis was a connection and losing dads was a connection fellow grievers had a bond with on their own journeys.

Tip #1: Follow fellow grief accounts.

I follow both “large” and “small” grief accounts. I follow accounts that have created communities, accounts that share their own grief, and even some grief related businesses.

There are a couple reasons I’d suggest following some accounts before you even create your own content.

1. You can follow grievers who have lost the same type of loss as you. It’ll still be a different journey, but the main reason I created my account was to feel less alone. Reading other people’s journeys helps feel less alone (that’s why you’re creating your page too I believe! To help yourself and help others.)

2. You can see how others express their grief. There are authors who have written books and share passages. Grievers who share mostly photos of their loved ones with insightful and heartbreaking captions. People who share and repost grief quotes. Create grief art. Make reels or TikToks. And those who use graphic design tools to create their posts. It’ll help you decide how you want to express your own on your page.

3. You can make genuine connections. Comment, like, talk about their loss, and talk about your own. It’s what this grief community is really about.

Tip #2: Follow grief related hashtags.

They will pop up on your home page, but you’re also able to just search for a hashtag.

Here are some general hashtags I’d suggest following or searching for:

1. #Grief

2. #GriefQuotes

3. #Grieving

4. #GriefJourney

5. #GriefSupport

Now, in addition to that... who do you want to connect with? I know I’ve hash-tagged #missyouDad because well I miss my dad. The common one for dads is #deaddadclubs. So, I’d start by thinking what subset of the grief community you’re wanting to connect with... some I’ve seen are... #widow #motherlessdaughters #lifeafterloss #petloss and #childloss. Again, that will be dependent on who you want to connect with and what posts you’d like to see. That being said, I follow all types of different losses and journeys. I can’t relate to everyone, but we’ve built connections regardless and something they say resonates with my own grief in a different way.

Tip #1: Find an App to Create Posts

I started off using Canva and I have since switched to Pocket Procreate. You can use whatever is easiest for you. For beginners I’d suggest starting with Canva.

Using Canva:

• Canva Step by Step Tutorial

• Additional Canva Guide

These are just some guides. Ultimately it’s a learning curve. The basics you’ll need are a background and text. You really don’t need much more to express you grief, other than your words. They have templates you’re able to type into and you can add graphics.

Here are some of my posts I’ve created by using Canva:

• Canva Post Example #1

• Canva Post Example #2

• Canva Post Example #3

Using Pocket Procreate:

Unlike Canva this app isn’t free and I think online available on apple devices. This is my app of choice though. All my newest postings have been created in here. I like to express my grief best with words. It’s easy to download fonts and paint backgrounds.

Here are some posts I’ve made with Pocket:

• Pocket Post Example #1

• Pocket Post Example #2

• Pocket Post Example #3

As I mentioned earlier I like being able to download fonts. You can actually do it on your phone! I find my fonts on https://www.dafont.com but there are a lot of websites you can use if you google free fonts to download. You’re able to use them in the app.

As far as drawing goes, I have been using https://every-tuesday.com myself to learn how to navigate the tool. She provides free color schemes, tutorials, graphics. An example of a tutorial I followed/ modified to meet page was this post:

• Grief Playlist Instagram Post

Tip #2: Grief Writing Ideas To Get You Started

Or check out my 25 Grief Writing Prompts page.

1. Introduction post. Tell us about yourself and your loss. Why did you create the page.

2. Grief clichés. What were some phrases said to you that just weren’t helpful. How did you react to them?

   • They wouldn’t want you to be sad.

   • They’re in a better place.

   • Time heals all wounds.

3. What is your favorite memory? What’s a big one and what’s a small one? What do you find yourself missing most about them.

4. Do you keep anything? Voicemails? Jewelry? Is their something physical you hang onto to feel connected to them?

5. Bereavement Leave. Seems nonexistent but tell us how it was having to adjust going back to work.

6. What is your “grief cycle”? Do you find yourself cycling through emotions? Anger, numb, sad, hopeful, guilt, nothing, everything? What emotions have you felt you didn’t realize was grief until now?

7. Do you listen to any songs that help with your grief? What songs speak to you?

8. Do you grieve what was or what can no longer be more?

9. How is your family after your loss? Did it being you closer or has it created more distance?

10. Any advice for someone newly grieving a loss?

Use the hashtag. Share your story. Connect with others. And please please please only share what you’re ready to share. This is meant to be helpful. Social media however can be hurtful, please be mindful. Keep your grief and your own mindset as a top priority. Share as much or as little as you want. If it’s not helping, delete it. Your grief is never defined by how many likes or follows you have. Your grief is valid. This should be a place to express your grief and help yourself. If it’s not helping, it’s not worth it.